An Open Letter

Dear person smoking their e-cig next to me in this coffee shop,

I really hate your e-cigarette.

I’m proud of you for taking steps to quit smoking and, yes, I would much rather you vape than smoke. Smoking is terrible, and I’m not calling for a sweeping ban of e-cigs.

But please, I am imploring you, stop vaping indoors. I know it’s “just water vapor,” but it is water vapor that smells terrible. The vapor that is wafting over from your table to mine does not smell like pancakes; it smells like a synthetic blend of sugar-free butterscotch candies and diacetyl. Sure, this is “better” than cigarette smoke, but stepping in cat poop is better than stepping in dog poop, and both are still terrible options.

I realize that you are breaking no laws. You are technically allowed to “vape” indoors. In large indoor spaces, your habit is not such a big deal. I can walk away from you or you will eventually walk away from me. I may be temporarily annoyed, but this too shall pass.

But just because you are “technically allowed” to do something, that doesn’t mean you should do it. In smaller spaces — spaces from which I cannot escape — in planes, cafes, and restaurants, you need to put that thing away. You are being rude. Like eating a large amount of garlic before boarding a 10-hour flight or wearing strong perfume to an expensive restaurant.

I’m sure you are experiencing a sense of freedom the likes of which you’ve never felt. You no longer have to brave the elements to get your nicotine fix. This must be especially nice if you live in an area with extreme weather. This freedom may let you live out smoking fantasies you never thought possible. I get it; the no smoking signs in airplane bathrooms are so admonishing, even I have been tempted to dismantle those smug little smoke detectors. After enduring all of the restrictions imposed on smokers, I can see how it could be easy to now view the world as your own personal “vaping lounge,” but I really wish that you wouldn’t.

In the case of restaurants and cafes, you are interfering with the food.Flavor is a combination of taste and smell, and with the smell of pina colada air freshener floating under my nose, I am having a hard time enjoying my coffee. Your bubble gum vapor is not welcome when I’m eating a grilled cheese. And — I may be overstepping my bounds here — but I really wish you wouldn’t exhale bacon flavored vapor around my beer. We’ve already established that bacon-flavored beer is pretty terrible. I know you can still smoke in a lot of bars, but I don’t go to those bars. Besides, that’s what the patio is for.

I don’t think I’m being completely unreasonable. Even e-cig companies seem to agree with me:

“Even if you are at an establishment that allows vaping and someone sitting next to you seems uncomfortable or requests you to stop vaping, the best thing to do would be to respect their request. At work, it is a good idea to inform your colleagues about what you are doing. Smokers have been notorious because of a few rude ones who blow their tobacco smoke right into people’s faces. But since vaping is so new, the opportunity still exists for the community to create a positive view of this culture.”

Currently, you are not creating a positive view of this culture.

Between vaping liquid being called things likes “lizard juice” and those ridiculous holsters, you need all the goodwill you can generate. Subjecting people to cloying, food-esque scents is not the way to go about it. Besides being annoying, you may be giving people headaches or allergic reactions.

I am glad you quit smoking. If the e-cigarette helps someone achieve that goal, I support their decision to purchase and use one. But please be mindful of those around you. Because while vaping is considerably safer than traditional cigarettes, it just doesn’t smell that great.

Dear person who can’t stand the smell of my e-cig in this coffee shop,

First of all, I hear your concerns and respect your right to speak out about something that bothers you. However, I have a few things to say in response to your complaints.

After using my vape (e-cigarette) for over a year now, my body feels so much better than when I was smoking cigarettes. I can breathe! I can go up a flight of stairs without huffing for breath halfway. I can go for six months at a time without catching a nasty, lingering cough. My clothing doesn’t reek of smoke all of the time and my car actually smells nice. So, though they are far from perfect, I am enjoying the changes that not smoking cigarettes has brought to my life.

I don’t sit around inhaling lungful after lungful of vape for seven minutes at a time, like I would a real cigarette, so the lingering aura from my habit certainly isn’t hovering for extended periods of time. When I exhale, the vapor is gone within 10 seconds, along with the smell. Funny how just about 10 years ago people were still allowed to smoke actual cigarettes in some restaurants and I didn’t see anyone walking out on their meal due to the smell coming from the smoking section. This was, in fact, the norm for decades and we all got along fine. I’m not saying it was a wonderful arrangement, but people dealt with it.

I understand that for a few moments during your meal you may have a sniff of my vape that you don’t care for, but I’m sure that it isn’t as horrible as you make it sound in your rant. Life is full of mild unpleasantries that we all must deal with on a daily basis, but we can choose to deal with them or let them torment us. Not to mention the smell that lingers on a person’s body after finishing a cigarette, even if it was outside, far outlasts a vape any day.

When I smoked cigarettes, I dealt with inconveniences due to my addiction. I would be forced to leave the company of my friends and family to go stand outdoors, like an outcast or lesser human, so that I could prevent myself from having a withdrawal meltdown. I would sit in freezing weather and torrential downpours so that people like you could enjoy your meals without the offensive and unhealthy fumes of my cigarettes. Not to mention all of the health problems that I caused myself. There was no compromise offered, I had to deal with it. And I did.

Now there is an option available to me that is far less harmful or offensive as cigarettes and, for now, I am allowed to enjoy the company of my friends and family indoors with the rest of society. No longer do I have to huddle under the awning of a building, trying to avoid the rain, nor do I have to freeze my fingers off trying to rush through a cigarette just so everyone else can be satisfied. At last I can feel like I am a part of society again, and not some evildoer who deserves to be sent out to the village gates to hide my atrocious acts.

Vaping isn’t perfect, but it is a compromise. I’m doing my part by not smoking cigarettes and releasing their known carcinogens to the atmosphere, while still dealing with my addiction. I am trying to improve my health, trying to not smell like cigarette smoke all the time, and get to spend time with my loved ones as well. My intent is not to make you uncomfortable. In fact my actions are not about you at all. So I must ask that you not make them about you and respectfully let me and my vape alone. I can be conscious not to blow my vapor in your direction, if you will be conscious not to send your judgment and complaints in mine.