7 Things Your E-Cig Won’t Say To You

As a former smoker, we’re sure you’ve gotten plenty of advice from the non-smoking crowd on what you ‘should’ do, be doing , or have done. Although the giver of the advice probably thinks she’s sharing her utmost concern, most of the time it’s in one ear and out the other.

Our e-cigs are will us all the time and become trusty companions. Actually, we can call them better than friends since they’ll never say the following things to us:

“You should avoid gluten.”

Your e-cig doesn’t give a scone about what you eat, drink, who you sleep with, how you style your hair or any of that crap. It just encourages you to be yourself. To do what you feel when you feel like it. And e-cigs give you the freedom to do more of what you like, wherever you happen to be.

“You look tired.”

Your e-cig doesn’t judge  you. It’s cool with you, whatever you got going on and however you’re feeling. Happy, it’ll celebrate wit you. Sad,, it’ll let you cry, and help lift your spirits. And if you are indeed tired, your e-cig will raise your energy. It’ll give you that extra little zing to get you through the finish line.

“Did you gain weight?”

It won’t ask you this for many reasons. One – it doesn’t have eyes, or hands for that matter. Two – it would never be that rude! And most of all, three – because e-cigarettes can help curb your appetite by substituting for unhealthy snacks. Instead of eating a chocolate bar, just have a few puffs of some chocolate-flavored e-liquid. Instead of reaching for a pint of Haagen Das, grab instead your personal vaporizer filled with delicious hazelnut flavor. There you go, craving fulfilled, guilt free.

“You’re fired.”

Actually there’s no fire involved at all. Fire produces smoke. Smoke is what kills you. E-cigs create vapor, a much cleaner nicotine source to breathe in. And because there’s no live flame, e-cigarettes are cleaner and safer to use than regular cigarettes. No more dirty ash everywhere, cigarette burn holes, or burning down the house if you fall asleep in bed with one. And when you do switch and get a nice new e-cig or personal vaporizer, it results in less discrimination and gives you more opportunities for the future. In fact, it may lead to a ‘You’re hired!’

“We have to talk.”

You’re e-cig doesn’t need to ‘process’, evaluate where your relationship is headed, or set boundaries. And it certainly won’t dump you or break your heart at all. It won’t ever let you down. Your e-cig really wants to keep your relationship going and going for eva. However, you may have to tell your e-cig that you need some space sometimes. Like when you take a shower or go to sleep. But please, go easy on it, okay?

“You should stop smoking cigarettes.”

That’s the one thing your e-cig would nag you about, if it had to. If it met you a while ago. But since it’s your e-cig, it means you’ve already been able to kick cigarettes to the curb. So it won’t have to pester you about it now. Isn’t that relieving?

“I want you to meet my parents.”

However, you might want to say this to your e-cig. You want to show it off to your family and best friends. You’re proud to have quit cigarettes. And they will rejoice! No more stinky, coughing you. You’ll also want it to meet your kids. They will be so happy too. Not only because your e-cig won’t try to become their new parent, telling them what to do and stuff. But also because you’ve committed a long, healthy life with them. So please go ahead and flaunt your new e-cig around. And, best of all, your e-cig doesn’t have parents, besties, or kids. So you are off the hook.

And that might make your e-cig the best friend you’ve ever had.